As you may or may not have heard or seen, the Carolina Health Education Counselors of Sexuality – CHECS for short – and Project Dinah recently held an event entitled “Orgasm? Yes Please!” As one of the CHECS counselors, I was tasked with standing in front of a crowd of nearly 350 students alongside my fantastic co-workers and fellow bloggers David Andrews and Laetitia Lemoine. Over the 4 months leading up to the event, we put countless hours in to writing the script, planning the event, and rehearsing every line. At the end of the night though, after the crowd had stopped laughing and clapping and all the chairs stood empty, I stood and wondered about the irony of the evening. I reflected particularly on the question that I heard so many times in the months leading up to the event, the curious and soft-spoken question – “Why exactly are you having a program on female orgasm?”
To me, the answer was clearly and easily illustrated in the movie clips (http://youtu.be/F-bsf2x-aeE) and magazine covers like the following that we showed during the event.
Many claim to hold the secrets to orgasm and pleasure without even mentioning masturbation – not to mention the pressure that this puts on women and their partners to reach the supposedly “ultimate” sexual goal of orgasms. When I thought about this, I found myself wondering what would have happened if we had entitled the program “Foreplay? Yes please!” or “Masturbation? Yes please!” They don’t have quite the same ring of excitement to it, right?
Somehow, despite being an advocate for healthy sexuality I too got caught up in orgasm fever and spent the majority of the evening talking what orgasms are and how to get there. But, maybe we should all slow down a little bit more and think about appreciating the experience of getting to orgasm just as much as the orgasm itself. After all, it is arguably the smallest part of the Orgasm Cycle as described by Masters and Johnson (http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/sexual-health-your-guide-to-sexual-response-cycle)! Imagine if you were standing in the checkout line at the grocery store and saw headlines that read:
10 Tips to Stay Turned-On for Hours
How to Have the Best Foreplay of Your Life
The Best Recipes for Turning Dinner in to an Evening of Arousal
Instead of the normal ones we read about having multiple, mind-blowing orgasms or enhancing our or our partner’s performance! So, think about taking some time and slowing down – whether alone or with a partner. There is no doubt that orgasms feel great, and that we are all goal-oriented people at Carolina, but they aren’t the only thing to enjoy in an experience of arousal!
If you are interested in talking more about how to safely fit the most pleasure in your life, make an appointment with the CHECS counselors at Counseling and Wellness Services by calling 919-966-3658. We are happy to talk with you about any sexual health questions you might have and can meet with individuals, partnerships, or even groups of friends. It’s free and confidential!